Want to get to know someone better? Here are some questions you can ask.
Maybe you're trying to get to know someone better. Maybe you're trying to make conversations more interesting. Or maybe you just want to improve your communication skills by asking better questions. Communication may just be the backbone of healthy relationships. But communication is more than just a tool we use to explore ourselves. It can also be used to build closer bonds with others. One way we can do this is by asking questions—questions that lead others to self-disclose to us. This is how we get to know who the other person is for real.
In perhaps one of the best-known studies on relationships, Art Aron showed that when two people asked each other increasingly probing questions over a 45-minute period, they felt closer than two people who had just engaged in chit-chat (Aron et al., 1997). Further research suggests that when others self-disclose personal information, we like them more (Sprecher, Treger, & Wondra, 2013). This may partially explain why asking and answering questions increases closeness.
Questions to Ask
To start increasing closeness (or just get to know someone), here are some questions you can ask:
Asking questions can be a great way to learn more about others, increase closeness between you, and have more interesting conversations. Hopefully, these questions will give you some ideas for what to ask people.
Pamela (Pami) Parker currently serves as a holistic practitioner, coach and teacher. Her intention is to be a compassionate guide to those who choose to experience a healthier, happier and more peaceful way of life.