​If you’re into the rational pursuit of love and truth, you just might be a humanist.

Humanism is the belief in the capacity of our species to be rational and kind, and in our ability to see ourselves and each other as the infinitely complex and miraculously improbable organisms we all are without anticipation of eternal punishment or reward. Humanistic psychology is an approach that prioritizes a holistic understanding of an individual and seeks to aid them in living an authentic, meaningful life. It emerged out of the convergence of two philosophical disciplines: phenomenology and existentialism (Buhler, 1971).

Let’s dig into some of the primary components of humanism a little more.
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• ​Responsibility. Personal autonomy and responsibility are vital components of humanism. Rather than deferring to the dictum of a religious organization or the opinion of some other authority, the onus is on you to decide for yourself what it means to be a good person and how to live a life worth living. We also have the responsibility to use our intellect and reason to seek truth and dismiss what we identify as delusion.
• Meaning-making. Humans are remarkable in our ability to create meaning. And we can leverage this ability to cope with the pain that existence inevitably brings all of us. It allows us to say, “my suffering is real and there will undoubtedly be more of it in the future, but here is where I find beauty.” Or in our grief say, “I have incurred a great and permanent loss, but this pain is worth it because they meant so much to me.”
• Ethics. Humanist ethics are born from a recognition of the importance of our bonds with other people and our interdependence on each other and the world around us. They are based on a reverence for the human spirit and faith in the human capacity for reason and honest inquiry. 

The primary tenet of phenomenology, particularly when applied to psychology, is that the whole subjective human experience is more important than its parts. In other words, to try to understand ourselves solely in terms of mechanisms or according to various theoretical frameworks is a little like trying to describe the colors of the Grand Canyon at sunset by talking about wavelengths of light and what happens when photons hit your retina. The mechanisms of color vision are really fascinating and knowing how it works can certainly be useful, but it doesn’t help you to understand the most important part, which is what it’s like to experience the colors of the Grand Canyon at sunset.

The question of “what shall I do about it” is one of the primary concerns of existentialism. Existentialism is a little like phenomenology in that for both disciplines the reality and primacy of the human experience is a central theme, but existentialism places a particular emphasis on action, on how you should respond to existence. Existentialism also stresses the importance of the context in which a person exists. Martin Heidegger, a 20th-century existential-phenomenological philosopher, termed this notion being-in-the-world, by which he meant that an individual and the world in which they live are inextricably linked. We’ll get back to the idea of being-in-the-world a little later on.
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The convergence of these two schools of thought produced the basic questions from which humanistic psychology proceeds (Schneider & Längle, 2000):

1. What does it mean to be fully human? And
2. How can you use your understanding of what it means to be human to live a good life?

​Humanism is an approach to life—a framework to guide our behavior—that prioritizes understanding yourself, your reality, and those around you through inquiry, reason, and experience, with the aim of living a meaningful life and being fully human. A humanist perspective grants an individual the autonomy to purposefully move through the world in search of beauty and connection, and the responsibility to accept reality honestly and compassionately as it really is. In essence, a humanist is anyone who is curious, open-minded and has a compelling belief in the goodness and potential of humanity.

Learn about what self-forgiveness means and how to forgive yourself for past mistakes.

No human is perfect. In fact, human fallibility is one of the great enduring truths of the universe. So, if we know that mistakes are an inevitable part of life, then why is it so hard to forgive ourselves for them? How do we manage the feelings of guilt or shame over the mistakes we have made? And how do we allow ourselves to move forward after we’ve betrayed someone we love or treated someone unjustly?

​Self-forgiveness has been defined in a variety of ways. It’s been described as “a willingness to abandon self-resentment in the face of one’s own acknowledged wrong while fostering compassion, generosity, and love toward oneself” (Enright, 1996) as well as “a shift from a fundamental estrangement to being at home with one’s self in the world . . . from an attitude of judgment to embracing who one is” (Bauer et al., 1992). Though researchers have not reached a consensus on a single, precise definition of self-forgiveness, most definitions include the following characteristics (Webb et al., 2017):

​One of the primary features of self-forgiveness is self-acceptance. Some researchers even suggest that self-forgiveness is more accurately understood as a form of self-acceptance (Vitz & Meade, 2011). This understanding of self-forgiveness emphasizes accepting your fallibility, recognizing that you are an imperfect person and that you are not defined by your mistakes.    

This one might seem obvious considering that you can’t forgive yourself if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but it’s a really important component of the process of self-forgiveness and is often the hardest and most painful step.

This is an important factor because it’s the difference between true self-forgiveness and simply “letting yourself off the hook”. The honest desire to learn from your mistakes and to do better in the future is crucial.

Experts in the study of self-forgiveness suggest that one of the most critical components of self-forgiveness is the ability to “recognize that each person is part of a community of imperfect others who are mostly striving to be the best people they can be” (Jacinto & Edwards, 2011). With our fallibility and good intentions in mind, let’s look at the 4 steps to forgiving ourselves for our mistakes.

Self-forgiveness is a skill that, when practiced, allows you to start the next chapter of your story, to let go of the debilitating narrative that says, “I am terrible and unworthy of love and acceptance” and replace it with “I am a fallible and precious human who learned an important lesson which has helped me to become more than I once was.” Each step in this process – taking responsibility, allowing yourself to feel remorse, taking action to repair the damage done, and renewing your values and identity – can all be challenging for their own reasons and may be difficult in different contexts. However, self-forgiveness is a skill that can be learned and, like any other skill, requires practice and intention. As you move through your self-forgiveness journey, here are some affirmations to help you along the way.

​Learn about the benefits of helping others and ways in which we can contribute to the welfare of our fellow humans.

The human desire to help others is deeply rooted in our neurobiology (Hurlemann & Marsh, 2016). In fact, neuroscience research has shown that helping others activates the “reward” area of our brains (Moll et al., 2006). In other words, when we do something kind for other people, it feels good.

Helping others can be as simple as holding a door for someone or as extraordinary as donating a kidney. No matter how big or small the act, when we are kind and generous to each other, everyone benefits. Let’s take a closer look at the science behind helping others and some of the ways in which we can put more good into the world around us.

Researchers often define helping others as the intention or the effect of improving the welfare of another without the expectation of material rewards in return. This means that helping others can refer to well-intentioned behaviors that succeed in improving the well-being of another person as well as the well-intentioned behaviors that fall short of their goal. We can’t always be certain that the help we offer will produce the outcome we expect, but if our goal is to contribute positively to the welfare of our neighbors on planet Earth, it’s always worth a try.

The effects of helping others on both the giver and the recipient have been a popular topic of research for decades. There are now numerous studies that demonstrate the psychological benefits of helping others. The body of research is far too vast to describe it all, but here are a few examples.
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• One study conducted in the ’90s trained individuals with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) to support others with MS through active listening, compassion, and non-directive support (Schwartz & Sendor, 1999). Non-directive support is a therapeutic technique in which the supporter helps the person they are supporting explore their feelings and does not give advice. Both supporters and those being supported completed questionnaires that measured their subjective quality of life 3 times over the course of 2 years. The researchers found that the people providing support actually reported greater improvements in their quality of life over the 2 years of the study than those receiving support.
• A more recent study found that individuals who were donating blood reported that the blood drawing procedure was less painful than individuals who were having blood drawn for personal medical purposes (Wang et al., 2020).
• The World Happiness Report, a yearly publication that uses survey data gathered from around the globe to assess well-being and the factors related to it, reported that donating money to charity predicted greater life satisfaction in nearly all countries around the world (Aknin et al., 2019).

There are as many ways to help people as there are people to help, but here is a list of a few suggestions for how you can help others:
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• Random acts of kindness
• Community service
• Donating (food, blood, money, clothes, etc.)
• Letting people know they are appreciated
• Active listening
• Showing compassion
• Volunteering
• Mentoring or teaching
• Offering physical comfort (like a hug)
• Being patient
• Lending your voice to someone who is being ignored
• Giving compliments
• Giving advice when you can
• Sharing food

​The ways in which we can help others are limitless. Whether we donate unwanted clothing, volunteer at a senior center, or spend our lives providing humanitarian aid to refugees, our acts of kindness make a difference in the lives of others as well as our own lives. 

​Explore the benefits and importance of selflessness. Learn to be more selfless through examples and reasoning.

Taking care of your own needs and well-being is important but considering the needs of others can also be beneficial to you. The consideration of others' needs and feelings above your own is called being selfless. People who walk through life with a selfless attitude are emotionally stable, feel in harmony, and experience “authentic, durable happiness” (Dambrun, 2017).

Selflessness is important because it can play an important role in our well-being. A 2017 study found that people who demonstrated selfishness had fluctuating levels of happiness while those who demonstrated selflessness enjoyed “authentic, durable happiness” (Dambrum, 2017).  Making an effort to shift towards this state of mind could increase the amount—in addition to enhancing the quality—of your happiness.

Volunteering may be the first idea that comes to mind when you think about selflessness, and while this is a wonderful practice, it is only one of many ways we can be giving with our time, energy, and love. For example, learning to be more considerate of others can be helpful for many areas of your life including work, marriage, and everyday happiness.

Selflessness literally means placing less importance on yourself than on others. It is a state of mind in which you put an equal, or more, amount of consideration towards other people's interests rather than towards your own. Selfless people recognize the needs and feelings of others and try to show kindness in their actions.

A selfless person can be described as:

• Generous
• Kind
• Patient
• Respectful (Neff, 2003)

If anyone has ever said that you are a selfless person, consider it a compliment. Many great people throughout history have been described as selfless—people such as Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. These two pillars of history completely put the well-being of others above their own personal interests.
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​It’s okay if you feel like you need more practice being selfless. Keep reading if you would like to try to learn how to be more considerate of others.

Acts of selflessness can range from small everyday gestures of kindness to large donations of time or money.

The following are some examples of selflessness in everyday life that you may have performed or experienced before:

• Holding the door open for the person behind you.
• Someone allowing you to merge on a busy freeway.
• Volunteering for an activity at your child’s school.
• Allowing the person with one item to go ahead of your full cart at the store.
• Giving up your seat on public transportation to someone who needs it more than you.

• A large financial donation from a wealthy person to build a children’s hospital.
• Someone who volunteers for twenty years at the same organization.
• A person who donates a kidney to a family member.

​Whether large or small, any gesture of selflessness has a positive ripple effect outward. I know that when I experience or perform a small gesture of kindness, my day immediately brightens up. Are there ways you could incorporate more small acts of everyday kindness into your life?

Would you like to try to be more selfless? We could all benefit from showing and receiving a little more kindness in our everyday interactions. Here is how you can get started:

1. Try to recognize that other people have their own ideas, beliefs, and feelings separate from your own.
2. Try to celebrate the fact that we are all so unique and different.
3. Before you speak or take action, think about how what you say might affect the people it is directed towards.
4. Try to act from a place of kindness and consideration towards others.
5. Attempt some of the selfless activities described in the next section.

​Learning to be more selfless is not an overnight process. The more you practice recognizing when you are acting with selfish motivation, the easier it can become to change that to selfless action. No one is perfect but we do have the power to build new skills and develop new traits if we put effort into it.

Selflessness is a state of mind that can help you achieve “authentic, durable happiness” (Dambrun, 2017). Being kind by considering the needs and feelings of others is how you selflessly move through the world. Acts of selflessness do not have to be large gestures—small, everyday acts of kindness have a similar ripple effect throughout the world. Try to learn to celebrate the differences we all share and appreciate other people’s points of view to act more selflessly, and you just might see an increase in the quality of your happiness and relationships.

​What drives people to be good? Learn about altruism, what it is and how to incorporate it into your life.

For the most part, we all try to be “good” people. We try to keep in touch with our friends and family and tend to look out for each other in the ways we can. Whether it be something as simple as helping an elderly person cross the road or as dramatic as trying to pull someone out of a car wreck, people have a habit of wanting to help one another.
However, we know that not all people are good or at least don’t make good choices all the time. So why do people perform great displays of compassion, kind-heartedness, and benevolence? Perhaps more importantly, what drives them to such acts – selflessness or other reasons motivated by darker self-interests?
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To start, what do we mean when we say altruism? The term “altruism” was popularized as the opposite of egoism by the French philosopher Auguste Comte (Etymology Dictionary). Altruisme, as it is called in French, was derived from the Latin alteri which means “somebody else” or “other people” (Ciciloni, 1825). This makes sense when we look at the definition of altruism—it is defined generally as the action of acting for the benefit of others—an unselfish concern for other people (Merriam-Webster, n.d.). Basically, altruism is helping out others with no expectation to get anything out of it

Psychological altruism is believed to be primarily related to the empathetic desire to help people who are suffering. People have studied altruism from a psychological perspective, trying to find out why a person acts without motives of self-interest.​
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Here are a couple theories that psychologists have:

• Evolution. For instance, psychologists have studied altruism from an evolutionary standpoint and have stated that we help relatives to continue our bloodlines (Sisco & Weber, 2019).
• Environment. Other theories include that our early environment influences how we will be when we grow up. Altruism is a prosocial behavior – or behavior that helps and benefits other people (Eisenberg, 1982). If we model these prosocial behaviors in front of others, they in return are more likely to mirror it.

​Altruism from an anthropological point of view is the moral notion that we help each other due to our inherent need for cooperation for social welfare (Cortes & Dweck, 2014). For example, when you give up your seat on a bus for an elderly person, you do so because it is in the interest of social and moral well-being.

Other scientists try to see how altruism originates in our brains. Researchers have shown that our brains can actually develop in a certain way to be more altruistic than others (Klimecki et al., 2014). More altruistic people are able to recognize fear easily in others and are better able to detect when someone is in danger.
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​This is due to the brain region called the amygdala (also known as the emotional center of our brain) that activates our expressions of fear and thus we can act to protect or help others who feel fear. We all have the hardware to help others but whether we develop it is another story.

Altruism can benefit us in a variety of ways:

• Altruism can improve our health, such as by lowering blood pressure (Wang et al., 2019; Poulin at al., 2013).
• Altruism can improve mental health, as doing good deeds to help others can make you feel happy (Aknin et al., 2015).
• Altruism can improve relationships and social connections – being able to help and understand others can often bring peace of mind (Aknin et al., 2015).

Here are some tips to help you be more altruistic:

• Practicing empathy. Practicing empathy can help build social connections and aid with feelings of isolation. Try to put a face to the problems you see, consider how you would feel in that situation, and then think about what you could do to try to help make a difference.
• Finding inspiration. There are altruistic people all around us. Using the media or in your social circles, you can find inspiration. Whether it be from small acts or larger displays of heroics, we can all become inspired by others in our communities.
• Set yourself goals. Start with something small – help with chores around the house or spend more time with people you care about. You can then advance your goals to volunteering at a shelter, retirement home, or somewhere else. Whether big or small, any steps toward altruism are positive progress.

There is no one way to be altruistic – it can be anything from supporting our family to helping complete strangers. Or it can be anything from helping someone cross the road to pulling someone out of a fire – these are all ways to help others with little to no self-benefit.

​Discover examples of generous actions and how to become more generous.

Generosity is voluntary, unselfish giving of time, money, attention, or other resources; generous people are especially willing to share their resources with others. Although a generous gift can benefit the giver, it’s mainly intended to benefit the recipient, and there isn’t necessarily any expectation of a return. The term “generosity” characterizes both the act of giving and the spirit of the gift. Generous acts can be as dramatic as anonymously donating millions of dollars to a hospital or as mundane as volunteering an afternoon at an animal shelter.
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Generosity, especially anonymous generosity that probably won’t be reciprocated, may seem irrational under evolutionary psychology. This behavior may have evolved, however, to promote cooperation in uncertain conditions (where it’s unclear whether a single meeting will blossom into a steady relationship) (Delton, Krasnow, Cosmides, & Tooby, 2011).
One (extreme) example of generosity is anonymously donating a kidney to a stranger. Here are some more examples:

• Helping a friend move into a new apartment
• Paying for the coffee of the person in line behind you
• Offering advice to a student hoping to break into your industry
• Paying vet fees to neuter and release your neighborhood’s stray cats
• Tipping your restaurant server more than the standard amount
• Doing one of your partner’s chores so they have time to relax during a busy week
• Leaving a book in your neighborhood’s Little Free Library (if there is one nearby)

You can incorporate generosity into your life in many ways. It’s important to find a generosity practice that works for you and fits into your budget and schedule–you don’t have to deprive yourself or give up your boundaries to practice generosity. Equally, there’s no rule that you can’t benefit from your generosity toward others.
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Here are several strategies you can try to practice more generosity:

1. Set aside a certain percentage of your income for charitable donations. This strategy is a staple of the effective altruism movement (created, in part, through the work of philosopher Peter Singer). Effective altruists act out of a rational belief in doing the best they can, and many choose high-paying careers so they can donate more money to life-saving organizations (Singer, 2015). This strategy clearly will not suit everyone’s ethics and preferences, and the effective altruism movement continues to receive thoughtful criticism.
2. Look for mentorship opportunities in your workplace. Especially if a mentor devoted time and attention to helping you reach the position you occupy today, you might find it satisfying to thoughtfully pay that generosity forward–especially because, on average, people are less likely to pay forward generosity than greed (Gray, Ward, & Norton, 2014).
3. Volunteer for a meaningful cause. The example of volunteering at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving is classic for a reason. You can also make a list of causes that are meaningful to you and do an internet search for organizations that work to advance those causes. As Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
4. Make time to listen to a friend who’s struggling. If you already make time to listen to your friends’ problems, congratulations–you’re already practicing generosity. Sometimes, even actions that seem small, mundane, and automatic can be generous.
5. Immerse yourself in nature. …or just decorate your home with plants. In a 2009 study, some participants were shown pictures of natural settings or were asked to sit in a room decorated with several plants (Weinstein, Przybylski, & Ryan, 2009). Participants in the “natural immersion” group were more likely than control participants to demonstrate monetary generosity to a stranger (Weinstein, Przybylski, & Ryan, 2009). So, boosting your tendency toward generosity might be a literal walk in the park.
6. Make a commitment. Promising to behave generously in the future may make you more open to unrelated opportunities to be generous.
7. Say no when you want to say no. As the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Looking after your own health and boundaries ensures that you can offer generosity when you want to and where it’s needed most, and that you’re doing so from a place of joy and care rather than resentment.

​Whenever you offer your valuable resources primarily to benefit someone else, you are practicing generosity. You can be generous with time, money, possessions, attention, influence, and anything else you value. Generosity doesn’t have to be a sacrifice–instead, it can be a win-win situation that helps everyone involved, strengthens relationships, and makes the world (even a little bit) brighter.

​Here’s how to apologize when you are wrong and how not to apologize too much. 

Social support is a pleasurable and often necessary form of connection in our lives. Nevertheless, from time to time, all of us have conflicts in our relationships that may need to be remedied. In most cases, a good apology can help you and the other people involved resolve the issue.

We hear the words, “I’m sorry”, all the time. We may utter the words if we accidentally bump into someone on the street or even if we didn’t hear someone properly. But the phrase, “I’m sorry”, isn’t always just about simple mistakes. Sometimes we can really hurt the people in our lives with our words and actions, which may require an apology.

Apologizing is the act of expressing regret or remorse to someone when you have done something wrong. A sincere and genuine apology goes beyond just saying “I’m sorry.” A good example of an apology can include the following ingredients:

1. Acknowledgment and responsibility for your actions
2. Regret about how you made the other person(s) feel
3. An intent to change your behavior (and following through with your intent) so you don’t make the same mistake again
4. Asking what you could to do make amends

​Apologies can help the wrongdoer take responsibility for their actions and help reduce any guilt they may hold about their behavior. Subsequently, a good apology can make the person who was wronged feel better, heard, and understood. Apologies can be a great source of building communication between you and your relationships and can allow an opportunity to learn from your mistakes (Howell, Turowski, & Buro, 2012; Schumann & Dweck, 2014).

There are several examples of contexts in which apologies may be necessary. For example, maybe you missed an important deadline on a project at work and failed to communicate any challenges you had. Perhaps this mistake lost you a client or added more work for a coworker or supervisor. You are human and mistakes happen. However, an apology could be necessary to clear the air about miscommunication and allow you the opportunity to offer ways to help.
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Whether you are at work, school, at home with your family, out with your partner and friends, or interacting with a stranger, mistakes can happen anywhere. Typically, when you make a mistake or hurt someone, it is important to apologize to the person or people affected. Apologizing to others can be a really difficult experience. A gentle reminder that it is okay to be nervous, anxious, or worried about how the apology will go. We are here to help provide you with concrete examples of how to apologize to others.

A good apology could include the following phrases:

1. What I did was wrong, and I am so sorry for hurting you.
2. I wish I could take back what I said (or did) and be more considerate of your feelings.
3. Next time, I will be more mindful about what I say (or do).
4. What can I do right now to make you feel better or help our relationship?

As you may have noticed, these four sentences match the ingredients of a good apology that were listed above. It is important to note that every apology may not follow this exact formula, as your apology will likely have to be tailored to the situation and the person you are communicating with. However, this is a good basis to start from and later alter if you are trying to find the right words for your apology.
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A critical key to apologizing sincerely is saying your apology with empathy. It may not have been your intention to hurt someone, but you still made an impact on them that caused hurt. Being able to see how they felt in this situation and understanding how it could have affected them is what being empathetic encompasses. 

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• If you had to cancel plans at the last minute: I am so sorry I had to cancel our dinner when you had already made it to the restaurant. I should have let you know in advance that I was having a long day and wouldn’t be able to be present with you. You deserve to be treated with more respect and I will ensure that I give you that next time.

• If you took a joke too far: I am truly sorry for poking fun at you. Although it wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings, I recognize that my words were hurtful. What can I do to make this better?

• If you broke a nice vase at your friend’s house: I am sorry and feel awful about accidentally breaking your vase. It was beautiful and I should have been much more careful. I am happy to cover the cost and buy you a new one. What type of vase would you like?

As you may notice, apologies can be expressed in a myriad of ways. In order to be sincere, it is important to be empathetic, put the other person’s feelings first, and personalize your apology to fit the situation.

​Hopefully, you don’t find yourself in frequent situations where apologies are necessary. But in case you do, remember that even though apologizing can be scary, it can also help you learn and improve your relationships.  

Let’s take a look at some words of kindness we can use to bring more kindness to the people closest to us.

We may think that saying something nice and saying something kind are the same thing, but kindness is a bit more multifaceted. Let’s use an example. Maybe you’re at a family party that your cousin hosted. She made a huge feast for everyone at the party, but you can tell that she’s exhausted and seems like she might need support. Let’s say your sister is the nice one, but you’re the kind one. What do you think each of you would say to your cousin? Your nice sister might say, “thanks for the food!” But, maybe you say, “it must have taken you so long to make this delicious meal, how can I help you clean up?” Do you see the difference?

Words of niceness are saying agreeable things (which are totally fine comments to give!), but words of kindness often come from a place of care, benevolence, and support (Binfet, 2015). When we say words to be kind, we are offering the receiver of our kindness genuine words that show appreciation, helpfulness, and compassion. Words of kindness come from a deeper goal to give yourself emotionally to others.

No matter how long we’ve known someone or how close we are to our friends, it’s important to remind them how important they are and continue to show up for them when they need a friend. Here are some words of kindness for these special people in our lives.

1. I am so blessed to have you in my life.
2. You mean the world to me.
3. Thank you for always being such a warm and caring friend.
4. Your smile always makes me feel safe.
5. You always light up every room you walk into. I’m so glad you’re here
6. I appreciate our friendship so much.
7. I love how you always bring out the best in people.
8. I always feel safe with you.
9. I love it when we get to spend time together.
10. I love you. ​

No matter how young students may be, learning to balance their home life, friends, and school work can be tough. Whether you are a teacher, a daycare specialist, a parent, an older sibling, or a fellow student yourself, here are some words of kindness for the folks in your life who are in school.

1. You are so smart.
2. Can I help you study for the big test coming up?
3. You’re balancing so much and I’m so proud of you.
4. I know school has been hard, and I believe in you.
5. Do you need any support for your homework tonight?
6. I can see you are improving; you’re doing such a great job.
7. Your ideas and opinions are important, and they matter.
8. You make a difference. Thank you for being here.
9. I always want to hear what you have to say.
10. You are welcome and safe in this classroom. ​

Whether we see our coworkers in the office every day or they appear in the small Zoom boxes on our screens, we spend a lot of time with the people we work with. While we may think it’s naturally easier to be kind to the people in our personal lives, those who are in our professional worlds deserve kindness too. Here are some words of kindness you may consider using for your coworkers.

1. I know you have a big project that’s due soon. Is there anything I can support you with?
2. I’m so glad you’re on this team with us.
3. I admire how you lead us and treat everyone with respect.
4. You give amazing advice.
5. Sometimes on hard days, I like coming to you for positivity. Thanks for making this feel like a great place to work.
6. Something I appreciate about you is that you always find a way to get things done. And they’re always done so well.
7. I know you’ve been working really hard on this assignment. I hope you have taken some time to take a break too.
8. Thanks for taking me under your wing, I’ve learned so much about this job because of you.
9. Thank you for your feedback. It always helps me grow.
10. I couldn’t have finished this project without you, thanks for being here for me.
11. Congrats on the new job! I know you’re going to be great.
12. You inspire me to do more meaningful work.

When we use our care and compassion for others through communication, we not only spread kindness to them, but we help create a domino effect that continues the cycle of being kind. Words are merely just one way to express kindness to the people in your life—or maybe even the strangers you see walking down the street. I gently challenge you to recognize someone in your life today and tell them something meaningful and kind. Think about how it makes you feel and try to gauge their reaction, too.

​Let’s look at some fun facts about why we laugh and its benefits.

Laughing is an action that can be looked at physiologically, psychologically, and socially. Physiologically, we know that we laugh because our bodies release a physical reaction from our respiratory system that lets out an auditory sound similar to “ha-ha” or “he-he” (Stearns, 1972). Psychologically, we most often laugh because we are confronted with some positive emotion, such as joy or amusement. However, laughing may also be a psychological response when we are surprised or embarrassed (Gregory, 2013). And from a social context and human behavior standpoint, laughter is often triggered by positive interactions with other humans which can offer bonding, emotional intimacy, and acceptance from others (Scott et al., 2014). ​

Laughter research suggests that the evolution of human laughter began more than ten million years ago (Ross, Owren, & Zimmermann, 2009). However, as psychological, and scientific research has advanced, particularly in the past century, gelotology, or the study of laughter, is still a growing field of study. 

Here are some historical tidbits about laughter, dating back to the late 1800s and early 1900s.

• In 1875, scientist Herbert Spencer theorized that laughter was a physiological reaction that was caused by the evocation of happy emotions and muscular excitement in our speech organs (Spencer, 1875).

• From a biological standpoint, one researcher conveyed the idea that laughter is an interruption of our body’s rhythmic flow, akin to crying, sneezing, or coughing (Sully, 1902).

• In their book about the psychology of relaxation, one philosopher authored the idea that laughter was a form of relaxation and offered relief from a tense thought or situation (Patrick, 1916).

• One researcher investigated the correlation between laughter and safety and found that people usually don’t laugh out of joy unless they are in a safe environment with people who they feel calm with (Hayworth, 1928).

• Research from 1933 suggested that laughter is the primary reaction to expressing euphoric feelings. This research also theorized that laughter from infants is caused by some sort of happy stimuli and can affirm the baby’s well-being to their parents (Piddington, 1933). ​

Let’s look at some more science about laughter. Here are a few facts to get our laughter listicle started:

• Laughter in other animals. Did you know humans are not the only species who can laugh? A recent study showed that nearly 65 other species also have their own form of laughter. A researcher at UCLA studies the sounds of other animals, and while they may not sound exactly like human laughter, they do something similar to laughter. These are called play vocalizations. These vocal sounds emitted from the animals in the study show that when animals are tickled, they may produce laughter-like audio (Winkler & Bryant, 2021).

• Laughter was a survival mechanism. Anthropologists and psychologists have argued that the purpose of laughing in early humans was to signal to other members of the group that they were safe from harm. Think back to the hunter-gatherer days when life was often nomadic and environments around groups of humans were constantly changing. Perhaps they lived among animals that preyed on humans or in areas that posed environmental threats to safety. Evolutionary studies later expanded on the idea that laughter was emitted during relaxation, which was why our modern-day human brains laugh when we are amused, relaxed, or find something funny (Provine, 2001).

• Laughter is contagious. Have you ever been in a room, looked across the aisle, found someone yawning, and then immediately felt the need to yawn yourself? Turns out, just like yawning, laughter is also contagious. Studies suggest that when you hear someone else laugh, you’re more likely to laugh too.

​Laughter is also great for our mental and physical health. Check out these facts about laughter and health below (Martin, 2002).

• Laughter and Endorphins. When we laugh, our body releases endorphins, and endorphins can release dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter (or happiness hormone) that can help improve our mood.

• Laughter and Tension. We all know life comes with its stressors and sometimes we can hold that stress in our bodies. If you feel your shoulders feeling heavy or your lower back aching, it could be because stress can lead to muscle tension. However, research suggests that laughter can alleviate tension and help relax our muscles.

• Laughter and Heart Health. Laughing often can improve cardiovascular health as it increases blood flow to the heart. When our cardiovascular health improves, we can also lower the risk of heart disease and heart attack (which of course, is just one factor of heart health). ​

Even though laughter has most likely been a daily occurrence in our lives since we were wee-little infants in diapers, hopefully, you learned something new today about laughing. 

​Discover why hugs are important and the magic number of hugs we need in one day. 

​Let’s take a moment to think about some of the contexts we use hugging. Maybe you’re meeting up with a friend or family member and it is your way of greeting them. Perhaps you’ve had a bit of a rough day and need a hug from your partner or child when you arrive home. You may find yourself giving hugs (or asking for them) when you’re feeling affectionate or need support. Regardless of your reasoning, for many of us, hugs can be an essential source of care and comfort.

Many of us likely learned how to hug at a very young age. Whether it was hugging our families as toddlers or giving our tiny friends hugs in elementary school, we know that to hug, we extend our arms around someone else. Hugs are a form of embracement or endearment and can often be used to express affection or care toward others. Hugs are not limited to just two people, however. Participating in a hugging exchange with more than one other person may be referred to as a group hug. On the other hand, it is not uncommon for people to also hug themselves—especially when they feel sad or lonely. 
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Hugs do indeed make us feel better. Have you ever given or received a hug and instantly felt better? That feeling is not just in your head. In fact, there are several health benefits of hugs that can positively impact you emotionally and physically. Let’s take a look at a few important benefits.

Let’s take a closer look at some more research on hugs, their importance, and their impact on well-being. Here are some facts to check out:

• The average hug lasts about three seconds. The duration of a hug can be important. Shorter hugs may signify a quick greeting. Longer hugs tend to represent deeper emotion, intimacy, and connection between two or more huggers. Longer hugs also encourage the release of oxytocin (Keating, 1994).
• Hugs support an increase in serotonin levels. Serotonin, a chemical messenger in the brain, supports mood regulation. Hugs not only encourage the release of oxytocin but also elevate serotonin, which can make people feel happier and less stressed (Field, 2002). 
• Hugs can be a form of mindfulness and meditation. Think about it. Mindfulness meditation encourages us to be fully present in the moment and aware of our thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Similarly, when we hug others, we are often immersed in the thought and sensation of participating in touch. Connecting our breathing with someone else when hugging helps us take a break from racing thoughts and focus on the other person (Hanh, 2005).​

​Although there is no concrete number of hugs we require each day, if desired, you may find it beneficial to participate in hugs more often. Consider taking sometime today and be intentional with your loved ones through hugs (with consent, of course). ​