Tips on how to reframe your negative self-thoughts.
Self-loathing refers to the underlying belief or feeling that one is simply not good enough. This comes hand in hand with having low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Self-loathing can influence how you view the world. You may ruminate on the negative things and minimize the positive things in your life.
Whether you want to be able to recognize it in yourself or a close friend, it can be helpful to learn how to pick up on the signs of self-loathing. Here are a few:
How to Stop Self-Loathing
Journaling can be a useful way to unravel all of the thoughts in your head by getting them on paper. By reflecting on your day, you can examine how certain situations or people may have triggered your emotions, and get at the root of self-loathing thoughts.
In order for journaling to be effective, it’s important to stay consistent with it. Only then will you be able to sense a pattern emerging and gain awareness about how your emotions shift over time. Plus, research shows that expressing your feelings through writing can be helpful in reducing psychological distress (Marković, Bjekić, & Priebe, 2020).
2. Talk back to your inner critic:
In addition to becoming more aware of your emotions, it can be useful to question your thoughts when in a negative situation. Are they realistic? Think of your inner critic as a bully and try to stand up to this bully. Counter your negative thoughts and criticisms with an argument supporting the opposite side. If you find it hard to do this, imagine what a friend might say to the critical voice in your head.
3. Practice self-compassion and self-acceptance:
Is it really the end of the world because of that small mistake? Can you be a bit gentler with yourself? When you begin to accept and love yourself unconditionally and cultivate positive self-talk, you will slowly make it a habit. Research suggests that compassion-focused therapy can help improve self-esteem, which, in turn, can reduce self-loathing (Thomason & Moghaddam, 2020).
4. Consider the people in your inner circle:
Who are you hanging out with most? Are your friends contributing to your negative self-talk? It’s important to spend time with people who uplift you, not those who bring you down. It may be hard to end certain relationships, but at the very least it may be helpful to distance yourself from these toxic relationships while you work on strengthening the relationship you have with yourself and other healthy relationships with others.
Self-loathing can be a difficult thing to deal with. Luckily, there are things you can do to feel a bit better. Hopefully, this article offered some strategies that help you feel better about yourself.
Pamela (Pami) Parker currently serves as a holistic practitioner, coach and teacher. Her intention is to be a compassionate guide to those who choose to experience a healthier, happier and more peaceful way of life.